As you may have picked up from earlier posts, I recently moved into a new joint in Chicago. It's a nice little apartment north of the loop in Edgewater, and I'm living with John Michael, a comedian from Dallas. I thought I would give you guys all a tour, so you can see how real ballers live.

Boom. Right when you walk in, you get hit in the face with this. Chairs with green pads on them. Windows so high my camera can't even see the top. A phat medium-size screen TV on a kitchen table. Floors of the richest hardwood. That's a tough living room. I mean, green pads, people. Oh yeah, 3 course menu for 12.99 at Friday's.
Oh, you want more? How about a kitchen. Fully-loaded. Sink, fridge, micro, stoven (stove and oven, in 1). Even a toaster. Feast your eyes on the plastic trash can in the forefront. Notice the foot controlled opening mechanism. Think I'll be bending down to throw stuff away anytime soon? Think again.
Take the portal you see in the pic above and you end up here. A plush back porch that's seen parties that would make Hugh Hefner keel over. Comfortably fitting 5, there's plenty of room for a sweet grill for cookouts, if you're willing to ask 3 of the people to leave.
Alright's, let head back inside...

Oh yeah, here's where it all goes down. An assortment of quality shirts and suits fills the closet. A 3 compartment port-a-dresser provides me ample storage for my whosits and whatsits. I rest each night in the contraption to the right. Super-comfortable, with so many blankets I can't even use them all.
Now, to the bathroom...
Oh yeah, here's where it all goes down. The tiled shower curtain of varied hues is a must-have. Listerine pre-brush rinse for that extra clean feeling. Toilet with the seat up. Well I guess it's down in this photo, but I'll see to it that it stays up from now on.
And now, for the view from the bedroom.

A beautiful landscape of lush greenery; grassy plateaus set in front of fertile mountains in the distance. Exotic creatures stalk the grounds, while overall-ed italians attempt to jump upon their heads. Truly a remarkable sight.